I guarantee any single woman under 50 (or over, as the case may be!) who lives in the Middle East will receive a marriage during her stay there (or even the first day!). The truth is I have lost count of the number of times I have been asked if I am looking for a husband, want to get married, or told by a man what a wonderful husband he will make.
Some proposals are made jokingly, some off the cuff, some with the expectation of rejection, and some in all sincerity. Some are made by strangers, in shops, at houses and all too often from car windows. Some are made by friends, acquaintances, complete strangers, or on behalf of some nice chap who is in need of a wife. They can be annoying, frustrating, ego boosting, rude or complimentary.
All too often the conversations starts with:
“Are you married?”
Then:
“Do you have a boyfriend/fiancé” or “Do you want to get married.”
(I really must answer that one with “No, actually I’m a lesbian” Or “No, I want to be a spinster and spend my entire life alone” one of these days... just for fun *winks*)
Next it may be:
“What sort of husband do you want?”
or they may move straight on:
“I’m looking for a wife/my friend is looking for a wife”
“Are you married?”
Then:
“Do you have a boyfriend/fiancé” or “Do you want to get married.”
(I really must answer that one with “No, actually I’m a lesbian” Or “No, I want to be a spinster and spend my entire life alone” one of these days... just for fun *winks*)
Next it may be:
“What sort of husband do you want?”
or they may move straight on:
“I’m looking for a wife/my friend is looking for a wife”
“Would you marry me?”
And then they try and woo you. Possibilities include:
“I will treat you like a queen if you are my wife.”
“I have my own house, I will get you a maid too.”
“You will have whatever you want if you marry me. I will buy you anything you want”
“If we get married I will be the best husband”
“If we get married you will be free to be a Christian and practice your religion”
And then they try and woo you. Possibilities include:
“I will treat you like a queen if you are my wife.”
“I have my own house, I will get you a maid too.”
“You will have whatever you want if you marry me. I will buy you anything you want”
“If we get married I will be the best husband”
“If we get married you will be free to be a Christian and practice your religion”
(My alltime fav:)
“If we get married we can live here in _____ or if you want we can live in Australia, I don’t mind. I’ll even get the passport if you want.” (Wow, you don’t mind taking Australian residency and even citizenship? Fancy that, how selfless!)
Here are two proposals that come to mind, the first of which was actually in Australia:
Australia:
An Indian friend with a Masters in Engineering – asked me to marry him in Australia so he could get PR. Offered to pay $15,000 and pay for our living costs when we lived together. Promised I would have my own room (i.e wouldn’t have to sleep in the same room/bed as him) and could have ‘boyfriends’ over as I pleased. But to please make sure they’re not around if immigration comes over.
Egypt:
An Egyptian man was an acquaintance of my friend Sameh, and worked part-time as the inofficial taxi driver for his village, Tanton, two hours out of Cairo, ferrying locals in and out of the big city. He had met me once before, when he drove my friend to meet me at the airport. A week and a half later he drove my friend and I to Cairo airport to fly back to Germany. It was the Pentacost holidays, midsemester. break. My flight was at 3am and we arrived around 12 midnight. As we settled in a cafe for a coffee (they were also waiting for our friend who was arriving the same time that I left), the driver (we shall call him Ahmed since I have forgotten his name) tried to chat with me. His English was extremely limited, and my Arabic isn’t very good – especially since I am mostly familiar with the gulf dialect.
Here are two proposals that come to mind, the first of which was actually in Australia:
Australia:
An Indian friend with a Masters in Engineering – asked me to marry him in Australia so he could get PR. Offered to pay $15,000 and pay for our living costs when we lived together. Promised I would have my own room (i.e wouldn’t have to sleep in the same room/bed as him) and could have ‘boyfriends’ over as I pleased. But to please make sure they’re not around if immigration comes over.
Egypt:
An Egyptian man was an acquaintance of my friend Sameh, and worked part-time as the inofficial taxi driver for his village, Tanton, two hours out of Cairo, ferrying locals in and out of the big city. He had met me once before, when he drove my friend to meet me at the airport. A week and a half later he drove my friend and I to Cairo airport to fly back to Germany. It was the Pentacost holidays, midsemester. break. My flight was at 3am and we arrived around 12 midnight. As we settled in a cafe for a coffee (they were also waiting for our friend who was arriving the same time that I left), the driver (we shall call him Ahmed since I have forgotten his name) tried to chat with me. His English was extremely limited, and my Arabic isn’t very good – especially since I am mostly familiar with the gulf dialect.
Plus my friend Sameh and I talk in German and Arabic, and he speaks no English. Ahmed was earnestly explaining to me that women are like cars. Ahmed is also a sort of unskilled mechanic, he tells me, and ‘understands’ cars .. which apparently meant he has a good understanding of women as well. Drinking my qahwa verrrrrrrrrrrrrry slowly I gave a weak laugh or two, and pretended I couldn’t understand.
After a while Sameh went to check the arrival time for our friends flight (delayed three hours).
Ahmed was chatting away for a while as I barely paid attention when I realised he was asking me to marry him.. !!
After a while Sameh went to check the arrival time for our friends flight (delayed three hours).
Ahmed was chatting away for a while as I barely paid attention when I realised he was asking me to marry him.. !!
Now paying absolute attention I ask him if he does realise I am about to board a plane to GERMANY, where I LIVE, and STUDY at university which resumes in TWO days time.
No problem, he replies, just stay here, don’t take my flight and he’ll take me home.
I imagine his wife’s reaction, when her husband after going off to drive a few locals into the city, “Habibi am just picking up some taxi work.. back in a couple of hours.” And then returns with a random white girl.. “Habibti I’m hooooooooommee. I brought something home from work – here she is!”
Which brings me to my next point: “You are already married!” I tell him. “What about your wife?”
“Oh no, he explains, adamantly, “No no really we've been together for so long she doesn’t like me that much anymore, we're like two old friends.. she'd be happy for me to marry you!”
I politely tell him “No, thanks” and thankfully Sameh arrives back to a crestfallen Ahmed, and a relieved Pamela. I told him later in Germany what had happened and he thought the whole thing was hilarious!
Have you all had any ‘marriage proposals?’ Tell me about them!
I imagine his wife’s reaction, when her husband after going off to drive a few locals into the city, “Habibi am just picking up some taxi work.. back in a couple of hours.” And then returns with a random white girl.. “Habibti I’m hooooooooommee. I brought something home from work – here she is!”
Which brings me to my next point: “You are already married!” I tell him. “What about your wife?”
“Oh no, he explains, adamantly, “No no really we've been together for so long she doesn’t like me that much anymore, we're like two old friends.. she'd be happy for me to marry you!”
I politely tell him “No, thanks” and thankfully Sameh arrives back to a crestfallen Ahmed, and a relieved Pamela. I told him later in Germany what had happened and he thought the whole thing was hilarious!
Have you all had any ‘marriage proposals?’ Tell me about them!
