Well this is my first-ever blog, so let me introduce myself and my blog, starting with our names!
I am Miss Chatterbox. Well that is rather short and sweet, so let me introduce my blog; strength of my life. It popped into my head as I strained to think of somethign witty/meaningful/catchy/cute for a blog title (all failed on all counts.)
My God, my savior (incidently "My Savior, My God" by Aaron Shust is a great song!) is the Strength of my life. It is also the name of (another) favourite song of mine. It's a reggae song about God. Its by two very different and favourite artists of mine; POD - a Christian rock group and Matisyahu an orthodox jewish Reggae singer! How amazing that two different group/artists from different religions and music styles came together and found common ground in their faith in the Almighty and made a song to praise Him!
They sing:
"Strength Of My Life, whom shall I dread?/ When them evildoers approach to devour my flesh. /Even if there would be an army against me, /My heart would not fear. "
It is based on Psalm 27
I will give you a quick run down: I was raised in a Christian family, chose to be baptised and commit myself to become a Christian at age 12. My family doesn't really have a denomination. We attended Church of Christ until I was 10, then our Church closed down and we started going to the local Anglican church, where my family still attends. throughtout my early teens I went to a Baptist youth group. So my Christian pedigree is somewhat mixed. It is enough that I'm Christian methinks :)"The Lord is my light and my salvation; whom shall I fear? The Lord is the
strength of my life; of whom shall I be afraid?
When the wicked came against me to eat up my flesh, my enemies and foes,
they stumbled and fell.
Though an army may encamp against me, my heart shall not fear; though war
may rise against me, in this I will be confident." (v1 -3)Head Covering & Blogging
So this is the who of my blog, now for th why. Around June of this
year, while I was studying in Germany I started looking into head covering.. and
it was blogs which were an absolute Godsend!
I'd say half of my friends are Muslim. I've studied Islam, speak some Arabic and have been to the Middle East. I almost reached the point of converting to Islam. I've always been a strong believer in not follwoing out of blind faith, always having reasons for what I believe and challenging my own ideas. It was in this spirit that although my heart resisted strongly I put my *convictions* where my mouth was and followed what I believe to be the ultimate truth, that if we truly seek the truth we shall find it. I decided if Islam was the truth, I shouldn't be afraid to follow it, and if Christianity was the truth I shouldn't be afraid to question it. Praise God I came to the conclusion that Christianity if the truth. However my journey with Islam helped me better understand Christianity and help form my own faith and understanding of my religion. Also seeing religion through both Muslim and non-Western Christian eyes showed the subtle differences in Western Christianity and wetsern society to other parts of the world.
And now to covering....
As a child I often wore head wraps and covers of some sort around the home. If Iwent to mosque with my friends (I still do on the odd occaison) I would wear hijab. I also often wore it in the Middle East. One of the things that confused me with Islam is that hijab and many practices in Islam (such as not drinking alcohol, fasting, saying "salaam alaykum" (Peace be upon you), and calling one another "brother" and "sister" etc) seemed natural to me, and these were things lacking in Christianity (at least as far as I knew). On the other hand Islam (like Judaism) is classified as a "Religion of Law," and Christianity is a "Religion of Faith." the emphasis and core teachings aroudn salvation very different between them. My heart clearly told me that Jesus teachings on law were true: that Law alone cannot save mankind, because of our inability to perfectly uphold it, and in His parable that if the Tree is good the fruit shall be also.
To this day I have a lot of respect for Islam and the people who truly believe and follow it. A desire to serve God is always a beautiful thing.
I got back to Germany from Pentecostal break (midsemester holiday) in Egypt in April/May feeling frustrated. I had often worn hijab, or 'half-hijab' while I was there. At the same time I felt that I couldn't; at the end of the day I wasn't Muslim! A month or so later after wearing half-covering head wraps a couple times (not such an eye-brow raiser due to large numbers of hippies in my town who often wore such things!), I stumbled onto some information on Christian head covering.
I was on a site for Muslim women (often visiting such sites), and the oft-discussed topic of hijab was open. Half way down I noticed a couple of comments from non-Muslim women who wanted to/were covering. One of them was Christian!! I clicked on some links here and there and lo and behold the cat came tumbling out of the bag!
I felt like a thirsty women given a giant glass of water! I sat reading for hours, amazed that Christian women from all around the world, and all different denominations had felt called to cover as I did!
I had never heard of the passage in Corinthians, and as far as I knew Christian covering was Amish women, and closed bretheren who wore small bandanas! And some orthodox women wore scarves (my Grandmother was russian.)
Well long story short I started covering in July.. gving it a "test run" of 3 days.. and finding that onn the 4th day I didn't want to stop! The days soon ran to a week and then 2 weeks, and finally it was pretty clear that it was permanent. And no, despite an insistent desire to cover it wasn't easy. It felt uncomfortable either way. And yes there are times (even almost 5 months later) when I wish I didn't. When I want to show off my hair with my girlfriends or wear that smaller top! (Clothing was also a big change for me.) It has also been a huge learnign curve, realising how much a slave to vanity and pride I am! And I wasn't even aware! It is an ongoing journey.
After a month covering I returned to Australia and it was like starting all over again. Reactions from friends were often horrified, "Why would you cover up your beautiful hair?!" or polite, rigid smiles from fellow Christians, quite obviously inwardly horrified by my percieved legalism. I have had a lot of support from Muslim friends, but had to make it quite clear about my reasons for covering and how they are different to Islamic hijab. Most have been understanding and helpful. There are still people who are unaware that I cover, or do not know the reasons why. I simply cannot sit down and have an in depth conversation on the topic with everyone I know. What to do!? There is often the perseption that I am "acting Muslim"... even though I cover under the Christian beliefs and understandings.
And so it has been almost half a year now. I still have never met a head-covering woman in person. (I did see an old lady in the street once.) I still struggle with it. I still spend too much time thinking about what to wear, modesty and people's reactions to my head covering. I still feel uncomfortable at times. I still learn something knew every day. And I still want to do it. :)
Bless you all, the Peace and Grace of our Lord be with you
love Miss Chatterbox
